(terlalu) berharap

duh, ini orang-orang maunya apa ya. demen banget ngerjain orang.

The Hostel Application- Results is not open for access yet. The schedule is from 31-MAY-2010 03:00:00 PM to 03-SEP-2010 03:00:00 PM.

pertama2 katanya tgl 27 jem 12 pm. begitu 27, diundur tgl 31 jem 12 pm. *mana tadi dikira 12 AM lagi* begitu 31, diundur jadi jem 3 pm. ini sih bener2 ngasih orang keinginan buat berharap lagi. iya dong, kita harus berpikir gelasnya half-full, ya kan? tapi kalau ujung2nya hasilnya sama juga, kayanya uda kebal deh, ga terlalu kecewa2 gimana banget. cuma tetep aja, merasa dipermainkan. tapi, beneran deh, semoga diganti jadi 16. hahaha *masih ngarep*

ternyata.

berpikir positif dan terlalu berharap itu beda tipis ya?

lalilulelo.

gila, uda lama ga ngepost pake bahasa ibu pertiwi. duh maaf ya, ga pake huruf kapital ibu pertiwinya. lagi males mikir soal eyd eyd an. duh jadi inget eid. hahaha. ga ngerti gw nulis apa? ya ga usah dingertiin.

sebenernya ya, post gw di bawah ini, bisa lebih panjang lagi kalo gw tulis kemaren. kemaren lebih banyak lagi list2nya di kepala, cuma uda ada yg menguap ke awan-awan gitu. terus kayanya tadi uda turun jadi air hujan deh. lumayan buat nyirem pohon mangga di depan rumah yg ampe sekarang ga pernah berbuah.

gw lagi baca buku novel. judulnya the golden road, karangan l.m.montogmery. gw baru tau ternyata yg gw beli itu buku sekuel. yg pertama judulnya the story girl. walaupun cerita anak-anak dan mungkin saya agak sedikit tua untuk itu, tapi siapa yg peduli?

kemaren gw juga nonton ulang shrek 1. hah, knp? karena uda ga ada dvd yg bisa ditonton lg? ga juga. msh ad flashforward season 1. cuma lagi pengen dalam suasana happily ever after. gapapa kan nonton film anak-anak lagi? bikin seneng kok. oh ya, gw baru sadar kemaren, ternyata ending shrek 1 itu diakhiri dengan kata : they lived ugly ever after. lol.

malem ini hasil hall keluar. cut off bakal keluar official. pas gw tau diundur jadi 31, hal yg pertama di benak gw adalah : yes, masih bisa berdoa buat terjadi miracle. hahaha. am i too old wishing for miracle? ya siapa tau aja kan, diubah jadi 16 poinnya, makanya diundur. terus tadi denger ad yg bilang mau direvisi cut offnya. moga2 aja bener. kalo bener sih, lagu mukjizat itu nyata bakal langsung berkumandang. eh enggak deh. gw ga punya lagunya. eh tapi bisa dari youtube. gampang lah. hahaha. dan kalo beneran jadi 17 sih..................bener2 not sweet seventeen.

duh, uda blank mau tulis apa.

TIRED

I am tired of people who always judge others by their look and appearance.

I am tired of people who put too much high expectation on others. Each of us has different ways and views towards things, don't expect us to do the same thing as you do!

I am tired of people complaining they are ugly, fat, stupid, or whatsoever, as if they are the ugliest, the fattest, the most stupid, or whatsoever-est person in this world!

I am tired of people complaining how hot the weather is or how mess the life they are living. Hey, so much things to do other than complaining, wake up please! And yeah, I admit I sometimes do, time to wake me up please!

I am tired of people worrying to much about how nice they should look when doing good things. Who cares???

I am tired of people who are too much dependent on certain people because of certain things and situations. Can you give them a break? They do have a life as you do, and a right of freedom of course!

I am tired of people acting over sensitively. Really, I really mean the word OVER.

I am tired of dealing with people acting over sensitively. Whatever.

I am tired of dealing with systems, systems, and systems. I am just a victim of system.

I am tired of people kiasuing. Why can't I be that kiasu?

I am tired of being so lazy and unmotivated. I need something to encourage me! Okay, read this. Yesterday, I found out that a local magazine are holding a short story competition. Deadline : 30 June 2010. So, you're gonna be a witness of my words here. I AM GOING TO JOIN THE COMPETITION. You have my word.

I am tired of this world, sometimes.

I am tired of being tired, physically. Why do I have a body as old as an old grandma? I think I need more exercise.

I am tired of infotainment show on TV.

I am tired of reading the news feed on facebook.

I am tired of being online when it looks as if no one is online.

I am tired of buying books for which finally they end up on the shelf. Why is it so hard to find some time to read, when I have a whole day to go online?

I am tired not being able to speak out, express things, show my self up in my own way, sometimes, in certain situations with certain people.

I am tired of being me, complaining about so much things in this page.

there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.

Look at what I just found!

On this day, God wants you to know...

... that there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. Happiness does not come from seeking new landscapes, but from having new eyes on the same life you've always been living.

I couldn't agree more with the red sentence written above. It struck me because that's what just happened in the way I see my GPA. Once again, I stay in equilibrium state, for three consecutive semesters. When I got last semester's result I thought this thing wouldn't happen for the second time, u know, when having the exact constant CGPA over and over again? It's so coincidental, but yeah, the three digits stay again in my degree audit. I hope I can still maintain it for the next semester.

Last semester, I was a bit disappointed having the three little fellas (the three digits number i mean), because I was static. I didn't move from where I stood during one semester. Then, what's the point having another semesters coming if in the end I still stay in the same position? That's what I thought.

Last night, I was more than happy to see my three beloved sistas (assuming the numbers are female lol). Yay, at least, it didn't go down. I still stay in my current static position, but I don't care. That was really more than enough. I really didn't have the courage to put even a bit of expectation this time. As long as I still stay in the 'track' even if it took my GPA to go down, I don't really care. And He gave me more than I want. I'm more than grateful, even though I got the worst grade in my study in NTU so far...and ever, I hope.

Same thing, but different happiness.

Everything's gonna be alright

Let's take a while recalling your childhood memories. There were times when you fell down and hurt your knee, right? Then, what did Mommy and Daddy tell you? "Everything's gonna be alright." They kept saying it, calmed us down, no matter how hard we cried, didn't they? And, here is the magic. Those words really worked, voila! because we trust them that everything's going to be fine.

How about when you grow older? Would you still have faith in those magic spell?

You would. Or, you wouldn't. I guess being older *i sounded like an auntie* means to see things in more perspectives. 'how alright' or 'how fine' it is, it depends on how you see it. When we were a kid, we just hope that the pain didn't hurt any more. No Pain = Alright. How about Less Pain? Did we see it as Alright? I don't think so, at least for me.

As for now, when waiting for my exam and hall application results, I still believe that "Everything's gonna be alright." but does Alright mean I'll get straight As *which is 101% impossible* and get the room on 1st round? I really hope so, but whatever happens, I believe I can handle that. I surrender all to You.

Alright = I can handle that.

it was all started by a mouse.

Last night, I read a bedtime story for the first time since..... ever, maybe? I never recalled the memories of having any bedtime stories in my life. Even if I did, it wouldn't make any significant changes for who I am today, I guess.

Oh yea, the bedtime story was a comic book about Walt Disney, you know the one who started everything with a mouse. It kind of struck me, the way he pursue his dreams, and doing things he loved. There is one scene where he didn't manage to find any suitable job. Then somebody offered another which was not his interest, he refused it. If I were him, maybe I'd consider that, but he really knew where his heart belonged. He had found his dream and believed that...

That's the word, Courage. Some of us don't have the courage to pursue it. Some of us even don't have the courage to dream it. Well, I guess..count me in to both groups.

I must admit I'm having a motivation issue. Nothing is strong enough to motivate me doing what I can do now to its the fullest outcome. Sometimes I wonder how I could be such a 'never-give-up' person in some past. Things change, but I'm not sure if this one is a good change.

So, I think now I should start with doing things I love. Tomorrow when going to Gramedia, please remind me to buy a canvass. And let's hope that my oil paints are still friendly to be friend with. It's time to play with COLOURS! :)

"My only hope is that we never lose sight of one thing, that it was all started by a mouse." Walt Disney

there gone my happiness.

haiz. not official yet. but i think i need a miracle to change the fact that i'm gonna lose my happiness. call me lebay or exaggerating or anything. but i just feel so.

it seems so 'happily ever after' to me. until today.

some days ago, this thought came across my mind, that i didn't have such enough-to-be-called-pain things happening in my mind right now. everything seems so perfect (except the upcoming gpa, but i think i'm mentally ready so this isn't taken into account). and i realized that this was too good to be true. and yes, it was. that's why it didn't happen for real. i must stop dreaming. i must get rid of the 'happily ever after' tales for once, or... forever.

Colourful!

I just realize that

the combination of colour

in my previous post

is so beautiful!

Well, all colours are beautiful, I mean..

It's only the matter how you combine it.

A right combination makes them perfect!

Thank God for the eyes to see the beauty in the creation.

Random

"So long I never feel this secure. In you, I always belong."

"I miss all the craziness with you guys."

"My heart cries and smiles at the same time when I recall those memories. It does, but I'm not sure it does the same way for any other."

"I don't want to be number one. I just wish that all my tiny little wishes would come true. They're tiny, but sure I've got a LOT of them."

"I wish I had a good voice, so I can sing any time I want, without any thoughts of disturbing others with my annoying voice."

"And AGAIN, my target for the holiday is to lose some weight."

"I'm in love with Defying Gravity. I want Wicked."

"I'm starting to think that C.S Lewis is cool."

"Another chance did came. And I'm really grateful for that. I guess when you have a good intention towards something and it is not against His will, the chances would come again sooner than you think."

You Are Mine - David Haas

No songs are more beautiful than this! I will come to you in the silence I will lift you from all your fear You will hear My voice I claim you as My choice Be still, and know I am near I am hope for all who are hopeless I am eyes for all who long to see In the shadows of the night, I will be your light Come and rest in Me Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine I am strength for all the despairing Healing for the ones who dwell in shame All the blind will see, the lame will all run free And all will know My name Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine I am the Word that leads all to freedom I am the peace the world cannot give I will call your name, embracing all your pain Stand up, now, walk, and live Do not be afraid, I am with you I have called you each by name Come and follow Me I will bring you home I love you and you are mine