Relax~

Actually I was going to play Frank Sinatra's Christmas Album. It's not because I want more of Christmas. I need some jazzy melodies to accompany me at the moment. And it's the only album I have in my laptop. I'm trying to download Sinatra's greatest hits but they're taking 1 hour!

Then suddenly my mom plays a CD collection of religion songs. It's playing all over the house now, so better I closed my windows media player before it consumes my laptop battery. Haha, guess what. I plug in the battery and lay on the bed. Today's weather is such a prefect time to procrastinate. I can't believe I just sent the proposal to SAO in the middle of this soothing atmosphere!

"Kasih" is playing in the house now.

Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceted. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take pleasure in other peoples sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to eudure whatever comes. - A Walk To Remember

I feel like I want to run away from all of the works. I guess I'm not really enjoying making sure things so organized and well-planned. I always wonder why they can't give a little more flexibility and realize that some things are not always going according to plan, so why spend so much time on planning? Some people might scold and offend me right now. Whatever. I admit I can force my self to be organized when doing things for a group of people, but for my own sake of leisure I won't really bother. Oh yes, I really wanna go backpacking or go on adventure or take part in an amazing race. Just come there and let the adventure begin by itself. No itinerary. Limit of time is still okay, but please no to-do-list steps by steps.

Dunia yang berbeda

Walaupun masih sama-sama di planet Bumi, tetapi kembali ke sana bagaikan berada di planet asing lagi.

Di sana tidak seperti Bumi.

Tanah di sana gersang.

Semuanya gurun pasir.

Oasis pun sulit ditemukan.

Aku berharap aku bisa menjelma menjadi unta di sana.

Udara di sana tercemar.

Tidak menyegarkan untuk dihirup.

Di sana tidak ada manusia.

Yang ada adalah robot.

Ketika ku kembali pijakkan kakiku di sana.

Kemanusiaanku sedikit perlahan menghilang.

Semuanya begitu teratur dalam sistem.

Sudah ada program terperinci yang merancang setiap langkah.

Langkahku boleh bebas.

Tetapi ia tidak boleh menyimpang dari jalur yang dipercaya sebagai kesempurnaan.

Jika tidak, aku akan terjerembap ke dalam jurang.

Tidak akan ada yang menolongku walau aku berteriak, semua sibuk menyelamatkan diri sendiri.

Aku.

Kan segera kembali ke medan tempur.

Semoga aku bisa bertemu dengan sukarelawan penolong jika aku memerlukan pertolongan.

Semoga hatiku juga tergerak untuk menolong mereka yang jatuh agar bisa menyelamatkan diri.

Semoga aku masih bisa menjadi manusia di sana.

Sing like no one is listening. Dance like no one is watching.

I might be the last person on earth you could imagine to be singing... and dancing! :P

I love both, but I love != I can.

For singing,

yes I do love karaoke. I really wish I could sing well so I don't need to worry that people would be annoyed, at least not to be annoyed by my annoying voice. If they're annoyed by me couldn't stop singing, I don't see it as much a problem. Hahahaha just kidding. And you know what's the part of mass at church I love the most? It's not the homily, it's not the communion. It's the time when I can sing the hymns hahaha (=_=).

For dancing,

Don't imagine I would do some modern dance or korean dance. haha. My first dancing experience is on DDR Floor :P and goes on with Para-Para Dance at games centres! Another reason is dancing does burn calories, yeah! Compare to 5 mins boring treadmill (even with some playlist is on), I prefer doing 10 mins fun DDR/Para-Para/Hollahoop. Yes, treadmill does offer more effective way of burning more calories but they're not fun.

Unfortunately, watching and listening is not as easy as doing it. Those guys from glee are really really professionals. I guess I have underestimated them because they successfully make singing and dancing look easy!

Hahaha.

but doesn't matter you're good at it or not...

Sing like no one is listening.

Dance like no one is watching.

o k a y

s o i w a s w r o n g s o r r y i s h o u l d b e m o r e u n d e r s t a n d i n d a n d s e e t h i n g s f r o m w i d e r p i c t u r e w h y d o i a l w a y s s e e t h e s a m e i m a g e w h e n i t c o m e s a b o u t p e o p l e a n d f e e l i n g i m u s t m u s t l e a r n t o b e a b l e t o m a k e s e n s e o f t h i n g s i m u s t s t o p b e i n g a d r a m a q u e e n

The Only Exception

This might not be the sweetest song on earth like some disney princess with her prince charming singing under the silver stars~ but still, it's a beautiful song

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

Distance and Time Have Torn Us Apart

Some sweet words might had been said

Some last wonderful memories had been created

Some warm hugs had represented "all the best for future journeys" to each other

Some moments had passed by

Some phases of life of ours had been experienced

Some new people might had come to fill in our days

And without realizing it,

Distance had torn us apart

as well as time had

Means of communications are there

saying like, "I can help both of you to be closer again."

but we are too busy with our own life

we are too overjoyed with the new things and people around us

we neglect those past moments that once we believed it would always be a wonderful one to be remembered

we forget who we used to be and how we ended up here, enjoying every single grace that is sent for us

And there is no use if

only one party is excited to make the re-touch

while the other party always ignores the calls

Where have the memories gone?

Where have the sweet forever words flown?

They might have been forgotten

but some are still possible to be recalled

So glad if

the other party cherish the past moments as well as the other

So good if

they can laugh at their foolish and silly young mistakes

So disappointed if

the other party couldn't recall the same memories

but so much more disappointed if

the other party could recall but doesn't response to be as exciting as s/he was

Apparently,

Distance and time have torn us apart

Maybe my expectation is too much

Maybe I'm just being so idealist

Maybe I'm just... nobody

"I used to believe in forever, but forever is just too good to be true." - Pooh

Sensitive Issue

As a girl, my feeling is more dominating than my logics.

As a melancholic, I can be over sensitive to small things.

So as a melancholic girl, the effect is doubled.

Okay, so it took me two days to make sense of one thing. If I were able to think more clearly and to keep aside my feeling, I wouldn't need to create such a drama. I envy those from Mars.

Next time, I hope I can see it from bigger picture and not to be judgmental at the first place.

I must must must try to be less sensitive.

Do Nothing

The time when the Princess finally meets her Prince Charming..

It's better to finish it soon with the three words "Happily ever after".

If not, some alternatives might be written and it wouldn't always lead to a good one.

I'd better do nothing if doing something would damage the beautiful painting.

I'd better not do something if doing nothing keep the memories undamaged.

I'd better do nothing and wait..

Life With and Without Facebook

Just now I heard a rumor that Facebook will be closed on 15 March 2011. I don’t know whether it’s true or just a hoax, but just let’s imagine if it is true…

Actually the first time I heard that I was thinking of the positive sides, that I don’t need to waste my time kaypoh-ing anybody, that I don’t have reasons to be online for a long time, that I don’t have to be curious if there is any new notifications on my comments or statuses, etc.. I was thinking I’d have a better quality leisure time. Maybe I’d be able to finish some novels left unread, maybe I’d spend some quality time together with friends when I’m bored, etc.. Maybe life will be better without Facebook.

But then, I remembered the fun I had when I uploaded photos of my reunion with friends, wrote those silly captions, posting non-sense comments to each other, etc. Hey, I still have a quality time with them even though we’re apart! Or when we’re feeling down, uncertain about some stuffs, there will be (even though not always) an immediate feedback to our status, to cheer us up and to enlighten our blur perspectives. Not to mention some inspiring notes written by my friends which I won’t be able to have a direct and quick access to them if I don’t have a Facebook account.

So, as long as we use it wisely and efficiently the time, the privacy, and the contents, I don’t think there would be much problem.

A Video for reflection :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKBRG_QgEAM&feature=related

The Real Woman

Recently I've been reading some inspiring writings of ex-Mandarin teacher in my high school. Most of them that touched me the most is about womanhood, motherhood, and femininity. To be honest, I'm not really a kind of feminine (not yet? :P) so back in the past I never thought about how to learn to be a real (perfect) woman. I misused the name of 'woman emancipation'. I thought every woman could just be the way that they wanted, just everything. Now I guess I'm wrong.

From ancient times till now, women do still have certain roles to keep some things on this earth balanced. I just knew from Laoshi's writing that the bible even has some guide how to be a real woman :) Also, from her writings, I learnt that being a housewife is not (definitely) an easy job to do. I used to underestimate women who choose being a housewife in this modern era, but now I will take my words back. Just imagine, working on 24/7, no holidays on weekends. It's not only about how to keep the house cleaned but how to be a good homemaker as well. So much sacrifice of energy, time, and even own dreams and ambitions. Yes, my mom is also a housewife and for so many years I've known her in my life, how can I not realize this?? =.=' Sorry, Mom..

Here is what it is written in the bible. copied from proverbs31woman.com

The Proverbs 31 Woman :
10An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. rare, precious 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. trustworthy 12She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. kind	Her Character as a Wife
13She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. works joyfully 14She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. goes extra mile to get choicest goods 15She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. disciplined 16She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. enterprising, prudent with money 17She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. energetic 18She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. good steward 19She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. diligent	Her Devotion as a Homemaker
20She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. compassionate, generous	Her Generosity as a Neighbor
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. provident 22She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. elegant 23Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. influential 24She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. industrious	Her Devotion as a Homemaker
25Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. poised 26She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. wise	Her Influence as a Teacher
27She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. manages her home 28Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: praiseworthy 29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." distinguished	Her Effectiveness as a Mother
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. God-fearing 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. honored	Her Excellence as a Person
~ Proverbs 31:10-31

Hoamh. I'm still far from all of those things above. I wonder how many years will be taken for me to declare myself as a real woman. hahaha.