Distance and Time Have Torn Us Apart

Some sweet words might had been said

Some last wonderful memories had been created

Some warm hugs had represented "all the best for future journeys" to each other

Some moments had passed by

Some phases of life of ours had been experienced

Some new people might had come to fill in our days

And without realizing it,

Distance had torn us apart

as well as time had

Means of communications are there

saying like, "I can help both of you to be closer again."

but we are too busy with our own life

we are too overjoyed with the new things and people around us

we neglect those past moments that once we believed it would always be a wonderful one to be remembered

we forget who we used to be and how we ended up here, enjoying every single grace that is sent for us

And there is no use if

only one party is excited to make the re-touch

while the other party always ignores the calls

Where have the memories gone?

Where have the sweet forever words flown?

They might have been forgotten

but some are still possible to be recalled

So glad if

the other party cherish the past moments as well as the other

So good if

they can laugh at their foolish and silly young mistakes

So disappointed if

the other party couldn't recall the same memories

but so much more disappointed if

the other party could recall but doesn't response to be as exciting as s/he was

Apparently,

Distance and time have torn us apart

Maybe my expectation is too much

Maybe I'm just being so idealist

Maybe I'm just... nobody

"I used to believe in forever, but forever is just too good to be true." - Pooh

Sensitive Issue

As a girl, my feeling is more dominating than my logics.

As a melancholic, I can be over sensitive to small things.

So as a melancholic girl, the effect is doubled.

Okay, so it took me two days to make sense of one thing. If I were able to think more clearly and to keep aside my feeling, I wouldn't need to create such a drama. I envy those from Mars.

Next time, I hope I can see it from bigger picture and not to be judgmental at the first place.

I must must must try to be less sensitive.

Do Nothing

The time when the Princess finally meets her Prince Charming..

It's better to finish it soon with the three words "Happily ever after".

If not, some alternatives might be written and it wouldn't always lead to a good one.

I'd better do nothing if doing something would damage the beautiful painting.

I'd better not do something if doing nothing keep the memories undamaged.

I'd better do nothing and wait..

Life With and Without Facebook

Just now I heard a rumor that Facebook will be closed on 15 March 2011. I don’t know whether it’s true or just a hoax, but just let’s imagine if it is true…

Actually the first time I heard that I was thinking of the positive sides, that I don’t need to waste my time kaypoh-ing anybody, that I don’t have reasons to be online for a long time, that I don’t have to be curious if there is any new notifications on my comments or statuses, etc.. I was thinking I’d have a better quality leisure time. Maybe I’d be able to finish some novels left unread, maybe I’d spend some quality time together with friends when I’m bored, etc.. Maybe life will be better without Facebook.

But then, I remembered the fun I had when I uploaded photos of my reunion with friends, wrote those silly captions, posting non-sense comments to each other, etc. Hey, I still have a quality time with them even though we’re apart! Or when we’re feeling down, uncertain about some stuffs, there will be (even though not always) an immediate feedback to our status, to cheer us up and to enlighten our blur perspectives. Not to mention some inspiring notes written by my friends which I won’t be able to have a direct and quick access to them if I don’t have a Facebook account.

So, as long as we use it wisely and efficiently the time, the privacy, and the contents, I don’t think there would be much problem.

A Video for reflection :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKBRG_QgEAM&feature=related

The Real Woman

Recently I've been reading some inspiring writings of ex-Mandarin teacher in my high school. Most of them that touched me the most is about womanhood, motherhood, and femininity. To be honest, I'm not really a kind of feminine (not yet? :P) so back in the past I never thought about how to learn to be a real (perfect) woman. I misused the name of 'woman emancipation'. I thought every woman could just be the way that they wanted, just everything. Now I guess I'm wrong.

From ancient times till now, women do still have certain roles to keep some things on this earth balanced. I just knew from Laoshi's writing that the bible even has some guide how to be a real woman :) Also, from her writings, I learnt that being a housewife is not (definitely) an easy job to do. I used to underestimate women who choose being a housewife in this modern era, but now I will take my words back. Just imagine, working on 24/7, no holidays on weekends. It's not only about how to keep the house cleaned but how to be a good homemaker as well. So much sacrifice of energy, time, and even own dreams and ambitions. Yes, my mom is also a housewife and for so many years I've known her in my life, how can I not realize this?? =.=' Sorry, Mom..

Here is what it is written in the bible. copied from proverbs31woman.com

The Proverbs 31 Woman :
10An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. rare, precious 11The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. trustworthy 12She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. kind	Her Character as a Wife
13She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. works joyfully 14She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. goes extra mile to get choicest goods 15She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. disciplined 16She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. enterprising, prudent with money 17She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. energetic 18She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. good steward 19She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. diligent	Her Devotion as a Homemaker
20She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. compassionate, generous	Her Generosity as a Neighbor
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. provident 22She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. elegant 23Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. influential 24She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. industrious	Her Devotion as a Homemaker
25Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. poised 26She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. wise	Her Influence as a Teacher
27She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. manages her home 28Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: praiseworthy 29"Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all." distinguished	Her Effectiveness as a Mother
30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. God-fearing 31Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. honored	Her Excellence as a Person
~ Proverbs 31:10-31

Hoamh. I'm still far from all of those things above. I wonder how many years will be taken for me to declare myself as a real woman. hahaha.

Nilai

Seandainya di dalam sekolah tidak ada Nilai yang dikenal sebagai "tolak ukur" pemahaman seorang murid terhadap pelajaran yang diajarkan, apa yang akan terjadi?

Mungkin sebagian akan berpikir,

"wah..itu mah mana ada yang mau belajar"

BENARkah?

Sekarang kalau pertanyaannya dibalik, "untuk apa kalian belajar?"

Kesampingkan dulu itu jawaban mulia (dan munafik :P) seperti "untuk mendapat ilmu dll",

pasti sebagian bakal terpikir untuk menjawab "buat dapetin NILAI (bagus)"

ya kan? ya kan?

Nah, seandainya TIDAK ADA yang namanya nilai, jawaban "buat dapetin nilai bagus" itu pasti ga ada.

Lalu, apakah jawabannya langsung berpindah jadi jawaban mulia seperti untuk menimba ilmu dkk? Tidak juga sih. Yang parah malah nanya balik, "jadi buat apa belajar??"

Tapi at least ga ada kan jawaban buat SEKEDAR dapetin nilai bagus. So, it's all or nothing. Antara yg BENER-BENER NIAT belajar dan yang GA NIAT belajar.

Kalau otaknya masih waras sih, gw rasa dia ga bakal milih buat GA NIAT belajar selama-lamanya. Toh, dia lulus ga dapet apa-apa kan? Udah ga ada nilai dan ga dapet ilmunya pula. By right, mestinya ada dong perasaan bersalah buang-buang duit sekolah mahal-mahal, masa gw ga dapet satu ilmu pun, jadi gw harus belajar! Nah kalau ada nilai yang tertulis di ijazah, yah tenang-tenang aja walaupun ilmu yang dipelajarin langsung lupa habis ujian, toh gw MASIH PUNYA nilai kok.

Kalau mau dipikir lebih lanjut lagi, yah daripada ga niat belajar sama pelajarannya, yah mendingan pilih pelajaran/jurusan yang disuka dong? Ngapain buang-buang duit maksa-maksa masuk bisnis kalau ternyata minatnya di bidang design? Mungkin masalah bentrok antar ortu dan anak yang mau pilih jurusan kuliah bisa berkurang, walau ga dijamin juga sih, banyak faktor lain.

Tetapi kalau ga ada nilai, kasihan juga guru-gurunya. Gimana dia bisa mengukur kalau murid-muridnya udah bisa nangkep pelajaran yang udah dia ajarkan? Mungkin ada alternatif lain, tapi semua itu butuh energi dan waktu yang ekstra lebih. Kalau 1 guru cuma mengajar 3-4 anak sih bisa mungkin, tapi memang ada segitu banyak supply-nya?

Lanjut ke dunia kerja, susah juga dong buat perusahaan-perusahaan yang mau meng-hire karyawan baru terutama fresh-graduates. Gimana mereka bisa melakukan seleksi sebelum interview?

Apalagi buat negara seperti S******r yang kompetisinya tinggi, yang pake bell-curve, yang ga boleh tuh katanya semua orang dapet nilai A. Ada salah satu guru yang pernah bilang bahkan kira-kira begini, "kita bisa aja kasih kalian soal-soal yang gampang, tapi kita juga perlu buat membedakan 'the good student' dan 'the VERY good student' jadi kita perlu kasih soal yang susah dikit." Okay, jadi just being good is not good enough if wanna get straight As. Ga bisa salahin gurunya juga, kalau nilainya bagus semua yah, bukan bell-curve lagi itu namanya.

Nilai itu memang bisa dijadiin tolak ukur, tetapi itu bukan tolak ukur mutlak. (inget ada faktor hoki juga :P) Tetapi yaudah terima ajalah sistem nilai ini, kalau ga ada nilai yah susah juga dunia ini. Dunia pendidikan tanpa nilai itu bagaikan bersekolah di negeri dongeng. Yang perlu diinget ya jangan mencari nilai doang pas sekolah. Walaupun itu gw akui memang susah sih, apalagi kalau pelajarannya.....ya gitu deh :P

How's Life?

New Year. New Layout :) even though I just picked it from what they provide on blogger.

okay, so. how's life?

life's been great. for my christmas present comes VERY EARLY this year (2011 not 2010, so it's not a late christmas present)

life's been great. for i'm excited to face what's in front of me. internships and ecas.

life's been great. for i'm still alive in one piece after what i've been through in last year. i can declare that 2010 is the most eventful year in my life so far.

life's been great. for me being home. with the beloved people.

but

i'm still a human in melancholy. sensitive. fragile. easily hurt and i hate that part of me being melancholy. for some uncertain reasons (even though i know why, but i resist to admit).

soon i'm going to start my internship. i once said i'd miss school. yes i will still do, i guess. i miss it for the fun, for being together with friends, doing silly things, have lunch together at canteen, gossiping in lectures, etc. actually last semester i felt of becoming a more 'social' person. i just like to interact with people more than i used to be.

some people might think that i'm a hypocrite for confessing to miss schools, tutorials, lectures, and even exams! how can't you not enjoy the opportunity of living one semester in NTU without any worries of exams?? they might think so. some people might think i don't want to look for change. well, honestly i'm ready for a change. but, don't you ever feel sad to leave something that has accompanied you during the past 2.5 years even though just for a little while? and working is something that you always can do after you graduate, unlike tutorials and exams, you're only given limited chances to meet them.

things that i think i'd hate about doing my internship is that the routines. i dunno if i can stand the routines. wake up early in the morning-work-going home-sleep. there all goes the cycle every weekday.

good thing is that i won't have to be worried about catching up with tutorials and lecture notes to maintain my grades. yes i do still have to maintain my working performance and interactions with my colleagues, but it's not something academical, it's something more personal and social, more being people-oriented.

so, in my current conclusion, this new semester's gonna be different from previous ones. time for me to learn how to be more people-oriented. got ecas to be done also. at least i'm not required to be academically kiasu to survive. at least i dun need to memorize some formulas from the lecture notes. at least i dun need to face the deadly exam period. i think i just need to be my self, and try my best to be a better person.

my feeling says some other things are also happening but i dunno what. but i know it's gonna be something exciting to be reflected by the end of the semester :)

#lovemylife

Huff. I'm afraid of Failing

I'm serious. I haven't been doing well in my quiz. There is 90% of one of them that I'll fail. One of them I only managed to get 58 out of 100. I'm not exaggerating this case. I'm serious. And I hate sharing it to people because they just say "you can do it." The truth is I can't do as well as you think. I'm not that genius brainy girl, you know?

Just today I have a quiz and I'm only certain I can only get 48 out of 100. I'm really scared of failing.

Today's Reflection

God has a perfect plan. We can be like the Sadducees and close our minds to his revelation, or we can try to be like little children, eager to learn from our heavenly Father. He won’t lead us astray. If he moves our lives or the church in a direction we don’t fully understand, we can try to listen to him humbly, do our best to follow his lead, and trust that he will never let his people down.

God wants us to be ready to step out of our comfort zones when the situation calls for it. For the Sadducees, this meant accepting the possibility that God will raise the dead. For us, it may mean accepting a new priest in our parish, welcoming an unexpected pregnancy, or striking out in a new direction in our career. The possibilities are endless. The only thing constant is that God will be with us, no matter what, to guide us and teach us.

“Father, I surrender to your wisdom and your plan. Help me stay open-minded and soft-hearted.”

wau.org

Missing Home.

Oh, I hate it for being so melancholy and sensitive.

I have quizzes, club stuffs, e-learnings to do but... I just can't resist the feeling to miss home.

In last post I say that this is my second home, but now I'm not sure if there is any second or third.

My home is one and only. The place I'll return to someday.

-Home is where the heart is.